Notable quotes 🪬

[gotnitro]

Never stick your pen in company ink.

 

[speeding_Infraction]

" if it looks like a pig, smells like a pig, walks like a pig, it's definitely a zebra."

I learned this in math class.

 

[Cheez]

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

 

[slick2500]

Job safety tip, don't put your hand where you wouldn't put your

-edit- I actually have that on a shirt.

 

[Cheez]

The most common lies a man tells are to himself.

 

[Cheez]

All that matters now is what happens next.

 

[NitroK]

My favorite by Mark Twain

“Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience.”​

 

[gotnitro]

Only trust people with big butts, they cannot lie.

 

[Mike'sGN-Kraton]

Drive fast, Take chances!!!!

 

[gotnitro]

Always refuse to engage in a battle of wits with an unarmed person.


FART when people hug you, it makes them feel strong.

 

[BudUMfan]

“common sense isn’t very common”

 

[gotnitro]

“common sense isn’t very common”

Common sense is like deodorant, the people that need it most never use it

 

[332_RC]

Think no one cares about you, try missing a few payments.

 

[gotnitro]

It's all sh!ts n giggles until someone giggles n sh!ts.


I never had a bucket list, but my FUG-IT list is a mile long.

 

[Johnny b]

" Whether your glass is half empty or half full?" Either way your poop faced!

 

[gotnitro]

It's better to let someone think you're an idiot than to open your mouth and prove it.


I'm not stubborn, my way is just better.

 

[Johnny b]

The best things in life are free..... I guess that rules out women!

 

[Rowdyray]

For every beautiful woman out there, there's at least one man that's tired of bleeping her.

 

[332_RC]

Giant Panda bears are nearly extinct because they are too lazy to have sex.


I guess that's not a quote-my bad

 

[gotnitro]

I'm sorry if I offend you with my common sense.

I see NO good reason to act my age.

Hi, I don't care. Thanks.

You couldn't handle me even If I came with instructions.

Just be glad I'm not your kid.

I disagree but respect your right to be stupid.

Dear Karma, I have a list of people you missed.

I took a pain pill, why are you still here???

I'm actually not funny, I'm just really mean, and people think I'm joking.