Jokes, Jokes, Jokes

[Dutch]

Q: Why was there music coming out of the printer?

A: Because the paper was jamming.

 

[Be Ready]

I got kicked out of a Flat Earth group just for asking if the six foot social distancing rule had pushed anyone over the edge yet.

 

[Be Ready]

Teacher: If you have 10 muffins and your friend takes 2 of them, how many
muffins would you have left?

Me: 10

Teacher: Okay, let me try again. You have 10 muffins. What if your friend
takes 2 of your muffins, how many would you have left?

Me: Still 10 muffins... and 1 injured friend.

 

[Be Ready]

I called my wife from work and told her I was thinking about the last time we made love and I was excited. She said ..... “Who is this?”

 

[Be Ready]

What is Cardboard’s favorite sport ?

Answer: Boxing of course!!

 

[Be Ready]

Holiday Reminder -
The guys with 3 fingers and 1 eye sell the best fireworks

 

[Dutch]

Q. What did 50 cent do when he was hungry?

A. 58

 

[Be Ready]

I found out today that my wife dated a professional clown before me...

Mighty big shoes to fill she said..

 

[Jchammbone]

.

 

[Be Ready]

Two Mafia hitmen were walking through a forrest in the middle of the night.
One said, I hate to say it but I am a little bit scarred out here.
The other says, your sacred, I am going have to walk back to the car by myself.

 

[Homebrew]

Did you know there are no Canaries in the Canary islands?

Same with the Virgin Islands.

No Canaries there either.

 

[Be Ready]

Did you hear about the town where pot was legal but alcohol was banned?
Yes, they were left high and dry.


Meanwhile just up the road the towns only police car was found sitting on blocks with the wheels missing.
Police are working tirelessly to locate the thief.

 

[arrmadillo]

What's black and white and red all over?

A shot nun!

 

[oldguywnewtoy]

Someone stole the only toilet from the Police Station restroom. The cops are looking for the thief, but they say they have nothing to go on!

 

[Notorious J]

This is just tooooooooo good!

 

[Doom!]

What's black and white and red all over?

A shot nun!

A newspaper! I haven't heard black and white and red all over jokes since I was a kid, soon to be followed by dead baby jokes.

 

[X]

A newspaper! I haven't heard black and white and red all over jokes since I was a kid, soon to be followed by dead baby jokes.

What’s pink and taps on glass? Baby in a microwave.

What’s pink and silver and runs into walls? Baby with forks in it’s eyes.

 

[Notorious J]

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View attachment 160550

I might have thrown up a bit before laughing my head off on this one.

 

[Dutch]

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs........

On your door step - Matt
On your wall - Art
In a pile of leaves - Russell
In your pool - Bob
In your garden - Herb

 

[Just Joe]

Did ya hear the one about the nun that was a hooker?
she only gave it away outa habit