Porschetech🇬🇪
South London hooligan Living in Cali
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As the title states......what would you do knowing my current situation. I’ll explain as best as I can.
As some of you are aware my decision to leave the Bay Area for Naples Florida ended up being one of the worst choices in my life that I’ve made. It has been a dominoe effect of nothing but bad luck. The ex wife did a 180 on me 3 months after we had moved here. 2 years ago we got divorced. February 2021 I lost my home as the HOA refused to renew my lease after 6 years. They implemented new rules to lower the amount of homes rented for income purposes. Then last week I just got laid off. I’ve been there for 5 years and it’s been nothing short of fishy goings on.
A few months ago the ex asked me if I’ve thought about going back to Cali. I said yes many times. She caught wind of how much RN’s are being paid there and said the move back would benefit the kids. Obviously I got super excited about going back as my family and friends are there. So I made a few calls and some offers were made. One is very promising and I won’t know 100% until next month.
Now the kids have told me that the ex told them that she isn’t leaving Florida for at least 2 years. The kids don’t want to stay here any more and my son is being bullied in school - maybe due to racism.
So the question is do I stay here just for the kids and be here for them as their father, but suffer financially? I don’t want them to see me struggle and stressed over lack of income. Naples doesn’t pay techs very well and the Porsche dealer here said that if they were interested in me they’d offer $30 p/h. I saw that as an insult based on my knowledge and vast experience on the brand. I was on approx $70k before being laid off (I was being paid $33.75 p/h). Therefore do I leave my kids behind and take the job offer in the Bay Area? It starts off at $120k and a review after 6 months. So long as the shop does well, my income will grow accordingly. All this will be written up as a contract with promise of salary increases. Aside from my kids I’m lonely here and isolated. Naples population is primarily retired wealthy cranky old people. There isn’t much to do here compared to the Bay Area. While I understand the cost of living is much higher in the Bay Area. The $50k income difference is nothing to be sniffed at. RN’s in the Bay Area are now making $200k-$300k per year. Ex claims she makes the same as me which I find very hard to believe as she had to declare her income in the divorce papers and it was close to $90k.
Considering how much she could make in Cali, I have a suspicion that her change of mind on going back is to spite me. She knows how close I am to my family and how much that will benefit me and the kids. Unfortunately she has issues within her own family and i think there is resentment there. I found out recently that she’s fallen out with both her brothers again plus her father (this has been a viscious circle since childhood). Then she was told that none of the cousins that live here want to associate with her either.
So do I call her bluff and make plans on going back based on the job offer and lack of work here? She told me tonight she starts a new job closer to home in 2 weeks. I don’t want to stay here any longer than I need to be, but I also know it will break me to leave my babies behind. A few friends have told me that now is the time to do what is right for me as the kids will understand what I have to do (they are 11 & 8). I’m afraid if I stay it will give her an opportunity to tell the kids I’m a dead beat father due to my financial struggles.
Sorry for the long read. I tried to explain it as clear as possible.
As some of you are aware my decision to leave the Bay Area for Naples Florida ended up being one of the worst choices in my life that I’ve made. It has been a dominoe effect of nothing but bad luck. The ex wife did a 180 on me 3 months after we had moved here. 2 years ago we got divorced. February 2021 I lost my home as the HOA refused to renew my lease after 6 years. They implemented new rules to lower the amount of homes rented for income purposes. Then last week I just got laid off. I’ve been there for 5 years and it’s been nothing short of fishy goings on.
A few months ago the ex asked me if I’ve thought about going back to Cali. I said yes many times. She caught wind of how much RN’s are being paid there and said the move back would benefit the kids. Obviously I got super excited about going back as my family and friends are there. So I made a few calls and some offers were made. One is very promising and I won’t know 100% until next month.
Now the kids have told me that the ex told them that she isn’t leaving Florida for at least 2 years. The kids don’t want to stay here any more and my son is being bullied in school - maybe due to racism.
So the question is do I stay here just for the kids and be here for them as their father, but suffer financially? I don’t want them to see me struggle and stressed over lack of income. Naples doesn’t pay techs very well and the Porsche dealer here said that if they were interested in me they’d offer $30 p/h. I saw that as an insult based on my knowledge and vast experience on the brand. I was on approx $70k before being laid off (I was being paid $33.75 p/h). Therefore do I leave my kids behind and take the job offer in the Bay Area? It starts off at $120k and a review after 6 months. So long as the shop does well, my income will grow accordingly. All this will be written up as a contract with promise of salary increases. Aside from my kids I’m lonely here and isolated. Naples population is primarily retired wealthy cranky old people. There isn’t much to do here compared to the Bay Area. While I understand the cost of living is much higher in the Bay Area. The $50k income difference is nothing to be sniffed at. RN’s in the Bay Area are now making $200k-$300k per year. Ex claims she makes the same as me which I find very hard to believe as she had to declare her income in the divorce papers and it was close to $90k.
Considering how much she could make in Cali, I have a suspicion that her change of mind on going back is to spite me. She knows how close I am to my family and how much that will benefit me and the kids. Unfortunately she has issues within her own family and i think there is resentment there. I found out recently that she’s fallen out with both her brothers again plus her father (this has been a viscious circle since childhood). Then she was told that none of the cousins that live here want to associate with her either.
So do I call her bluff and make plans on going back based on the job offer and lack of work here? She told me tonight she starts a new job closer to home in 2 weeks. I don’t want to stay here any longer than I need to be, but I also know it will break me to leave my babies behind. A few friends have told me that now is the time to do what is right for me as the kids will understand what I have to do (they are 11 & 8). I’m afraid if I stay it will give her an opportunity to tell the kids I’m a dead beat father due to my financial struggles.
Sorry for the long read. I tried to explain it as clear as possible.