Dan B.
Area man
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So I mentioned that I quit smoking around a month ago, but holy living crap, the draw is still strong. And I’ll admit, although many of you regard me as some sort of god around here () I’m only human. I want a cigarette so badly! I know if I buy a pack all bets will be off and I’d no longer be a nonsmoker. I’m thinking I should just have one. But I don’t have any, and none of my friends (you higher-than-thou, superlative self avowed chosen progressive bastards) smoke. So what I’m thinking is that I should be embracing a sentiment that I’ve groused about lately in My Daily Rant regarding all of the panhandlers with cardboard signs asking for donations on every available street corner in my broader geographic area.
I’m going to go out and try to bum a cigarette off a bum.
I’m going to roll up in my freshly washed Mercedes to the skankiest bums I can find, male or female, and slide down the window. When they approach expecting a handout I’m gonna say, “yo, can you spare a smoke?”
Hell yeah. I’m really proud of myself for coming up with this, and it’s easy to see why I’m a Legend in My Own Eyes.
Film at 11:00.
I’m going to go out and try to bum a cigarette off a bum.
I’m going to roll up in my freshly washed Mercedes to the skankiest bums I can find, male or female, and slide down the window. When they approach expecting a handout I’m gonna say, “yo, can you spare a smoke?”
Hell yeah. I’m really proud of myself for coming up with this, and it’s easy to see why I’m a Legend in My Own Eyes.
Film at 11:00.