I think I really need help

[Xjeepguy]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

 

[Tex Koder]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

Everyone deals with sadness and grief differently...
With what you went through, your chosen method of healing is quite positive and allows you to come to grips with your lost in a very constructive and creative way.

I'm sure your wife would want it exactly this way. Watching you from heaven and seeing how this hobby brings joy back into your heart -as you build each one of those awesome rigs.

So feel free to vent anytime and if you need to chat ,in realtime just ask.
PM, Txt, google Meet..

We're all here for you buddy.

 

[Senton_Prime]

I wonder if 2 wheels would lead you to serenity!!

 

[N.Mango]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

Sorry for your loss.
IMHO...
If it's not setting you back in a negative way and it's something that makes you happy doing, then who says it's a bad thing?
Would you feel different if your hobby of choice was fishing and you spent $1000+ on a single reel?...Or building a 4x4 with a $10,000 lift kit?
Could it be that it's just this particular hobby that is making you feel this way because of the fact that they are (in some minds) just toys?
Without digging yourself in a hole mentally or financially, I say keep on doing what makes you happy.

 

[Xjeepguy]

Sorry for your loss.
IMHO...
If it's not setting you back in a negative way and it's something that makes you happy doing, then who says it's a bad thing?
Would you feel different if your hobby of choice was fishing and you spent $1000+ on a single reel?...Or building a 4x4 with a $10,000 lift kit?
Could it be that it's just this particular hobby that is making you feel this way because of the fact that they are (in some minds) just toys?
Without digging yourself in a hole mentally or financially, I say keep on doing what makes you happy.

That’s a good point. I can always add another shelf or two lol.

Everyone deals with sadness and grief differently...
With what you went through, your chosen method of healing is quite positive and allows you to come to grips with your lost in a very constructive and creative way.

I'm sure your wife would want it exactly this way. Watching you from heaven and seeing how this hobby brings joy back into your heart -as you build each one of those awesome rigs.

So feel free to vent anytime and if you need to chat ,in realtime just ask.
PM, Txt, google Meet..

We're all here for you buddy.

Thanks! I think it’s just because of the weird looks I get when people come into my apartment lol.

I wonder if 2 wheels would lead you to serenity!!

I have had 3 bikes in the past, and have seriously been considering that.

 

[N.Mango]

That’s a good point. I can always add another shelf or two lol.

And you can buy a shelf that need to be put together...helps with the need to tinker

 

[Tex Koder]

And you can buy a shelf that need to be put together...helps with the need to tinker

Here's some nice options..

 

[Mark Rhoades]

Hi there, hoping you have a good day! Don't be so hard on yourself. No matter what you are doing your wife is always with you and if I had to bet she's smiling and hoping you are happy and smiling as well. Get out there with your rigs and bash. You do what makes you happy

 

[trunkmonkey1]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

Sorry for your loss bro.

When my wife passed back in 2019, I literally shut down. I didn't care about myself, and didn't care about anything else, except for 1 thing. My daughter. I made sure that she was taken care of. The problem with that statement, is that you cannot take care of anyone else, if you don't take care of yourself 1st. After talking with several of my family and friends, I eventually snapped out of it. Though, it did take a long time. Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago, I lost my best friend to a massive heart attack. We were thicker than thieves, and we were going on a 20 year friendship. But closer as brothers. We did everything together, including our love for the r/c's. The day I found out, I was going to give up everything that had to do with rc's. I was just going to come on here, and sell everything that I had for literally pennies. I didn't care. I found myself thinking, how can I possibly go on working and having fun with these rigs, if he's not here to enjoy them with me? Then, I got a call from a friend. She asks me one simple question: If he found out you gave up, what would he do? He'd come back and haunt me, and kick my a$$. It was very tough the first couple of days. I went to his house to put is affairs in order. What did I find? All his r/c's. I have all of them now. I'm not gonna do anything with them. They will all remain on a shelf. They are all 100% stock. 2 Kraton 6s EXB, Talion 6s EXB, Fireteam, 2 Infractions. All stock. Plus, they have all been hardly used. The biggest issue he had, was that he drove like a gramma. Very very slow. Other than those rc's, he also had a collection of 4 nitro cars from back in the day. He was very proud of those cars, since he was the one that did all the graphics on them. When we wanted to mess with the cars, he was the one at home painting. The other problem he had? He LOVED the Nissan GTR body. He's got more bodies than cars. LOL

What I'm trying to say from all this is, give yourself time. Take it at your own pace. You're not doing anything wrong. It does get better, but you need to give yourself some time to grieve. Just do you. I'm still having an issue that he's gone, but everyday I hold my head up and move forward. Cause, that's the only thing I can only do.

TM

 

[Dutch]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

Sorry for you loss, better drowning yourself in the RC hobby rather than alcohol and drugs.

 

[Greengaunja]

Firstly, sorry for your loss but I'm glad you had an outlet. While a distraction is nice to have, it shouldn't be allowed to replace your grief. Its just not healthy but oddly, grief can be when it's part of the healing process .again, my condolences. I so wanted to respond in my typical smartass way, "What problem"? But serious post deserves a serious answer.
Hope better days lie ahead for you

 

[Tex Koder]

When my wife passed back in 2019, I literally shut down. I didn't care about myself, and didn't care about anything else, except for 1 thing. My daughter. I made sure that she was taken care. The problem with that statement, is that you cannot take care of anyone else, if you don't take care of yourself 1st. After talking with several of my family and friends, I eventually snapped out of it. Though, it did take a long time. Fast forward to about 2 weeks ago, I lost my best friend to a massive heart attack. We were thicker than thieves, and we were going on a 20 year friendship. But closer as brothers. We did everything together, including our love for the r/c's. The day I found out, I was going to give up everything that had to do with rc's. I was just going to come on here, and sell everything that I had for literally pennies. I didn't care. I found myself thinking, how can I possibly go on working and having fun with these rigs, if he's not here to enjoy them with me? Then, I got a call from a friend. She asks me one simple question: If he found out you gave up, what would he do? He'd come back and haunt me, and kick my a$$. It was very tough the first couple of days. I went to his house to put is affairs in order. What did I find? All his r/c's. I have all of them now. I'm not gonna do anything with them. They will all remain on a shelf. The are all 100% stock. 2 Kraton 6s EXB, Talion 6s EXB, Fireteam, 2 Infractions. All stock. Plus, they have all been hardly used. The biggest issue he had, was that he drove like a gramma. Very very slow. Other than those rc's, he also had a collection of 4 nitro cars from back in the day. He was very proud of those cars, since he was the one that did all the graphics on them. When we wanted to mess with the cars, he was the one at home painting. The other problem he had? He LOVED the Nissan GTR body. He's got more bodies than cars. LOL

What I'm trying to say from all this is, give yourself time. Take it at your own pace. You're not doing anything wrong. It does get better, but you need to give yourself some time to grieve. Just do you. I'm still having an issue that he's gone, but everyday I hold my head up and move forward. Cause, that's the only thing I can only do.

TM

View attachment 330964

View attachment 330965

Absolutely!

Be Strong. Enjoy Life!

Doing What y'all are doing and keep on enjoying this Hobby and the Great RC community is Exactly what they would want you to do.
To not change a thing and continue to

 

[305HemiGuy]

@Xjeepguy Before anything, I'd like to send my condolences, terribly sorry about your wife man. As far as the rigs, I totally get it, you always find a reason why you need to add just oooone more to the collection. My twisted brain tells me every rig out there that I want, can do something that the ones I already have can't. I've come to the conclusion that these rigs are like therapy for many of us. You've used them to help you get through the loss of your wife, I use them to cope when I need a break from work, the kids, etc. Something about working on them & modifying my cars just put my mind at ease, and it distracts me from all the other B.S. I have to deal with on a day to day basis...I'm sure this exact same thing goes for you as well. Hell, I almost enjoy modifying & building more than running them. With that being said, you definitely have one heck of a collection, but as with all things, I suppose moderation is key. If you've gotten to the point where you feel you need to do something about it, then that might be a warning sign. There's nothing wrong with downsizing, but whatever you do just make sure you Don't leave the hobby altogether. This hobby is your comfort zone & place of refuge, you need that, we all do. We're all here for you man, you got this

 

[Dan B.]

I had 5 rigs when my wife passed away in June. I buried myself in this hobby to the point that it became an obsession. I guess everybody grieves differently. Before she passed, we had a deal that every time I bought one, I had to sell one. A couple months ago, I took inventory, and I had 25 rigs. I decided to reinstate the one for one policy and try to get it back under control. Last night, I realized that I am literally surrounded by RCs. I did a count, and when my 6s Big Rock comes in, I will have 40 rigs. I live in an apartment. Every room except the bathroom has rigs in it. To make matters worse, most of them are very much modified. For instance, I have an embarrassing amount of money invested into a Mad Van. I don’t even want to talk about the Xmaxx. Yes, it has kept me fairly level during this really difficult time, but I’ve spent enough at Amain alone to buy a very nice new car.

I didn’t generate any debt, I don’t use credit cards, unless I have the money to pay it off the next paycheck, but I think this hobby has become a bit of a problem. I really need to get this under control. I’ve tried to sell some rigs, but it’s like choosing between your kids. I like all of them. The problem is, when I complete a project rig, I’m immediately looking for the next build. I’m running out of room in the apartment.

Sorry for the long post, just annoyed with myself, and really just venting. The worst part of this is, the next time there’s a new rig released that I like, I already know I’m going to buy it. How can something that makes me so happy, stress me out so bad?

What you are doing doesn’t sound unhealthy to me in any way. In fact, I’m struggling to find anything at all really negative about it, except perhaps the lack of space. I understand the whole “funny looks” thing, and I get the same. It’s a little embarrassing for me when friends see my RC area. But hey, whatever. Let’s be real, we’re not sitting on the floor playing with toy soldiers. I guess these are toys, technically, but I would characterize our passion as much more of a legit hobby that challenges me, makes me think, greatly benefits my problem solving skills, and allows me to mentally travel to RC World for awhile and leave the day to day stresses behind. It’s extremely immersive in a very positive way.
As far as this hobby being your primary coping mechanism, I’d say you could do a hell of a lot worse. And don’t ever forget that’s is OK to feel joy during your transition, and in fact it‘s totally necessary for your mental health. Hang in there, sir. I think you’re handling yourself better than most would, and you’re certainly getting no judgement from any of us!

 

[Xjeepguy]

Thanks everybody for the support. I really appreciate it. This forum is like a big support group lol. I really do feel better now.

 

[RCbuzz]

Well said gang!

@Xjeepguy sounds like you need a garage

Nothing beats something you enjoy but I understand the anxiety when something feels like too much.

Just so you know, I really enjoy your posts and I am sure the rest of the forum as well. Always wondering what XJeepguy is cooking up next , thanks for continuing to share with us.

 

[Xjeepguy]

Well said gang!

@Xjeepguy sounds like you need a garage

Nothing beats something you enjoy but I understand the anxiety when something feels like too much.

Just so you know, I really enjoy your posts and I am sure the rest of the forum as well. Always wondering what XJeepguy is cooking up next , thanks for continuing to share with us.

I actually do have a project in the works lol. Just waiting on parts.

 

[sumguy75]

Lots of good replies already. As others mentioned, you need something positive to immerse yourself in. You are enjoying this and the only negatives you mentioned are space (get more shelves) and that you could have bought a car with what you have spent. But you didnt need a car, you need a positive hobby and you have it and you aren't going into debt for it.
Oh and you mentioned getting funny looks but screw that. If somebody gives you funny looks for having a place full of AWESOME rigs, seems to me they are the one with a problem!
Only thing I would suggest is maybe figuring out ways to make each build last longer if you feel the need to slow down a little.

 

[Xjeepguy]

Lots of good replies already. As others mentioned, you need something positive to immerse yourself in. You are enjoying this and the only negatives you mentioned are space (get more shelves) and that you could have bought a car with what you have spent. But you didnt need a car, you need a positive hobby and you have it and you aren't going into debt for it.
Oh and you mentioned getting funny looks but screw that. If somebody gives you funny looks for having a place full of AWESOME rigs, seems to me they are the one with a problem!
Only thing I would suggest is maybe figuring out ways to make each build last longer if you feel the need to slow down a little.

Makes sense to me. I’m waiting to come home from work and have a bunch of people there for an intervention lol. But honestly, I think Bridget would be proud of me. A couple months ago, I’d say this hobby probably saved my life. I quit drinking a few years back, I don’t do any illegal substances, all I do is tinker with and break my little trucks. I think I just needed to vent. I think I’m going shelf shopping this weekend.

 

[Moirae]

I read your post and it literally sounds exactly like me. Live in apartment, like 40 rigs and they are everywhere. I keep thinking about how miserable I'm going to be whenever we end up moving and I have to deal with this poop

I'm glad you're still able to enjoy at least something in life after what happen to your family.